Sweet insult!!
Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha apne bade bhai ka pair chhu rahe ho kya?
Ladka : ji bhabhiji.
________________________________________________________________________
A boy told his very traditional parents I wanted a tattoo.
.
Got one the very next minute.
A red coloured, chappal shaped tattoo, which lasted a wholeweek !!
________________________________________________________________________
Kya aap phone ki batery jaldi khatma hone se paresan hain, to khush ho jaiye.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Baba Ramdev aap ke liye lekar aane wale hai, Patanjali Smartphone bass aankh maar maar ke charge
karte rahiye.
_________________________________________________________________________
CA ki patni ne puchha: Mahngai dar kya hoti hai?
CA: pahle tumhari kamar 28 thi aur vajan 45 kilo,ab tumhari kamar hai 38 aur
vajan hai 75 kilo. ab tumhare pass sab kuchh pahle se jyada hai fir v value
kam hai.yahi mahngai dar hai.
moral: Airthshastra utna kathin nahi hai yadi sahi udaharan dekar samjhaya jay.
_________________________________________________________________________
What is secret of succes?
“by Right Decisions”
How do you make right decisions?
“by Experience”
How do you get experience?
“by Wrong Decision”
_________________________________________________________________________
Boy to pretty girl - Recharge ki dukan kaha hai ?
Girl: pata nahi yaar me to ladko se karwa leti hu
__________________________________________________________________________
Santa: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 40
Santa: 10 lelo
Riksha: 10 main kon le k jaayeega?
Santa: tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega
_________________________________________________________________________
Mallaya chahe London me bse ya Jhumri Tilaiya me mughe koi matlab nahi
bas wo appna mast mast Kingfisher wala Calendar nikalna band naa kare
_________________________________________________________________________
2 boys with Pappu where going on a Motor cycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop.
Pappu shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega…!
__________________________________________________________________________
Santa: Oye tu har sms Do dafa q karta H?
Banta : Taaki tu 1 Forward kar de to doosra tere pas rahay yaar!
__________________________________________________________________________
School mein Master ji ne chote santa se poocha:
Jisme koyi kami nahi usko kya kehte hai.?
aur jawab aayi:
.
.
.
.
Kami- na
__________________________________________________________________________
Mummy: Kyon Rota hai mera Sona?
Kids: Dad Ne Mujhe Kiss Nahi Di.
Mummy: Tumne Tables Nahi Sunaye Hon Gey.
.
.
Kids: Kaamwali Ko Kon Se Tables Aatey Hain?
__________________________________________________________________________
Santa went to Battery Shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga doon Sir?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya be....
__________________________________________________________________________
Ek Raat,
ek Chor,
ek Santa k Ghar me Ghus gaya aur bola: SONA kaha hai?
Santa: Ullu k patthe,
pura Ghar khaali hai kahi bhi jaake SOJA
__________________________________________________________________________
Santa Dukhi Tha
Kisi Ne Pucha: Kyu Tension Me Ho?
Santa: Yaar Ek Dost Ko plastic Surgery K Liye 2 Lakh Diye,
Ab Saale Ko Pehchan Nahi pa raha hu
_________________________________________________________________________
1 Over me Kitne Balls Peke Jate hai
Kya apne kaha 6?
Galat jawab
1 over me 1 hi ball 6 bar feka jata he
Bade aye!
Cricket k shokeeeen!
_______________________________________________________________________
Bittu: I sent Love letters to my Girl Friend everyday for 2 years !
Chotu : Then what happenned ?
Bittu : She Married the ‘Postman’
_______________________________________________________________________
Jab Hollywood me film ka seeqwal banta hai to naam kuchh aise hote hai:
1. Rambo
2. Rambo 2
3. Rambo 3
.
Bollywood Movies:
1. Singh is king
2. Singh is Bling
.
SOuth indian Movies:
1. Jine nahi dunga
2. Agle janam bhi jine nahi dunga
3. Paida hi nahi hone dunga..........
Doctor- Operation chal raha hai
CA: Audit chal Raha hai
MBA: Marketing chal rahi hai
Smart Santa: Fogg chal raha hai
_____________________________________________________________________
Pappu was working 1st time in a garment shop.
A customer girl asked:
Underwear dikhana plz.
Papu thora sharmakar:
G aaj nahi pehni.
____________________________________________________________________
Extreme height of laziness:
Thief 1: Let's count the money that we have robbed today at the bank.
Thief 2: dude I'm so tired.we'll see in the news.
_____________________________________________________________________
God: what do u want?
Boy: A very Beautiful girl.
God: If u r Muslim I'll give u Katrina,
If ur a Hindu I'll give u Kareena,
If ur a christian I'll give u Genelia,
What's ur Name?
Boy: Abdul Narayan Fernandes.
God: Rakhi sawant de Kamine ko bahut Over Smart ban raha hai.
_________________________________________________________________________
Santa asks Banta: Tujay larki phasani aati hai?
Banta: Nahi..!
Santa: Nahi aati to seekh le..
Pehle ek kaagaz ka jahaaz bana..
Phir usay class mein ura..
Mam k puchne par.. larki ka naam lagade..
BAS PHAS GAI LARKI .
________________________________________________________________________
Jaan Leva Ishq-
College me mera haath pakar kar boli ki saat janam tak tumhara saath naa chhorugi sathiya
College Gate se apne Baap aur Bahi ko aate dekh kar boli kamine kisko pooch kar pakra mera haath
______________________________________________________________________________
Boy: I love you baby
Girl: I Have already a boyfriend
He: Olx pe bech de
Purana jayega, tabhi to naya aayega
______________________________________________________________________________
Husband - mere paas proof hai tumhara chakkar parosan ke sath hai
Husband- kaya proof hai batoo??
Wife- Uska husband Kal raat tumhara underwear pahankar aya tha
______________________________________________________________________________
Jailor To Tailor:
1000 Pants Aur 999 Shirts Silvake Bhej Dena.
Tailor:
Jailorsahab Ye Ek Shirt Kam Kyu..?
Jailor;
Shalmann Khann Aa Raha Hain Na!!!
______________________________________________________________________________
Kitna lucky hoga wo boyfriend
Jo Apni girlfriend Se Yeh Sunta Hoga....
Jaanu Tum Phone Cut Karo Na,
Main tumko call back karti hun..
______________________________________________________________________________
GF 2 BF bahot attitude hai tum me
BF - Attitude to bachpan se Hai
Jab me peda huwa tha
to ded saal mene kisi se baat nahi ki the
______________________________________________________________________________
Mummy-beta paper kesa tha?
Beta-Patla saa tha, white colour ka
...
Mummy gusse me-de thappar de thappar par thappar
kamine tune kuch nahi lika hoga exam me nalayak
______________________________________________________________________________
Jitni Jildi ladko ko love ho jata hai
utni jaldi ladki ye bhi decide nahi kaar pati hai
.
.
Dark lipstick lagani hai ya light
______________________________________________________________________________
Log pata Nhi Kaise propose kar dete Hain
Mujhe To Pani-Puri Khane K Bad,
Papdi Mangne Me Bhi Sharam Aa Jati Hai
______________________________________________________________________________
Aajkal Ke ladko Ko Kya Pata Struggle Kya Hai ??
Hum Ne Wo Time Bhi Dekha Hai Jab.
Mobile Me "S" Type Karne K Liye..
"7" K Button Ko 4 Baar Dabana Padta Thaa
______________________________________________________________________________
BF 2 GF- girl Love Marriage Q Karti Ho?
Gf: Anjaan Namoona Milne Se To Achaa Hai,
Jaana Pehchana Kamina Mil Jaye.
______________________________________________________________________________
Tinku: 1 Manf0rce Dena.
Dukandaar: Tum To Masterjee K Bete Ho na?
Tinku: Mentos Bola Mentossssssss,
1-2 Vicks vi De Dena Gala Kharab H
Medicine ka naam bhi nahi nikal raha thik se.
______________________________________________________________________________
Yoga Madam:- Dear students!!
Batao Mai Ek Paav Par Kab Aur.
Kyo Khadi Rehti Hu ??
Student:- Nahane Ke Baad Chaddi Pahane Ke Time...
______________________________________________________________________________
Rahul Gandhi Kehte Hai,
"Congress Koi Party Nahi, Ek Soch Hai"
Aur
Vidya Balan Kehti Hai,
"Jahan Soch Hai, Wahan Shouchalay Hai"
Bahut Confusion Hai Bhai Sahab!!
______________________________________________________________________________
Girlfriend bnane ke baad he
adhiktar logo ka pata chalta hai ki
100 rupye se uper ki vi chocolate aati hai
______________________________________________________________________________
Husband driving Car At Very High Speed:
Dekhi Meri Speed darling??
&
Achanak Car Band Ho Gai..
Biwi Hasne Lagi
Husbnd: Kya Huaa??
Biwi: Kuchh Nahi, Kal Rat Ki Yad Aagai..
______________________________________________________________________________
2 Larkiyon Ko 5 Saal Ki Saza Mili.
Dono 1 Hi Room Mai 5 Saal Guzarnay Ke Bad
Jab Ghar Janay Lagii To...
.
.
.
.
.
1 Larki Boli.
Chal Thikk Hai Baakii Baten Mobile Per Kartey Hain.
______________________________________________________________________________
Kid 2 Mom: 20 Rs Dena,
Bahar 1 Garib Ko Dene Hen.
Mom: Kaha Hai Garib?
Kid:Bechra Bahar Dhup Me,
Icecream Bech Raha Hai mummy..
______________________________________________________________________________
Ek angrej hindi sikhne ke liye india aaya
30 din yahi raha,
finally usne 2 baate sikhi:"
1. Bijli aa gayi.
2. phir chali gayi...
______________________________________________________________________________
Explaining Friends -
Difference Between Shitt & Ohh Shitt.
A Boy Threw A Love Letter To A Girl,
And Fell Near Her Brother !
Shittt !
And His Brother Was A Gay Oh Shitt.
______________________________________________________________________________
Mobile ke night plans ne to hume,
Bhuka maar diya hai dosto,
Jis ghar mein chori k liye jao,
Koi na koi aashiq jag raha hota hai..
______________________________________________________________________________
Husband : Yaar, Main Koi Bhi Kaam Karta Hu,
To Meri Biwi bich me Aa Jati Hai
Friend : Yaar,
Tu Truck Chalaa Kar Dekh,
Shaayad Qismat Saath De De...!
"Try Your Best Luck"
______________________________________________________________________________
Just 4 my cute friends only
Why Do Popcorn Jump When It Is In The Stove?
Why?
Why?
Very curiors na........
You Sit On The Stove And Then See Why It Will Jump
______________________________________________________________________________
1 ladke Ne Red Fm Radio Pe Phone Kiya
Ladka : Mujhe Ek bag Mila Hai,
Jisme 20000 Cash.
Samsung Galaxy S6
1 Credit Card Aur
Richa gupta Ke Naam Ka Id Mila Hai.
RJ: Wah... Aap Kitne Honest Hain.
Kya Aap Unhe Wo Purse Waapis Karna Chahenge.???
ladka : Nahi!!Nahi!!
Main Chahta Hu Ki Richa Gupta Ke Liye,
Ek Dard Bhara Song Ho Jaaye...
Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha apne bade bhai ka pair chhu rahe ho kya?
Ladka : ji bhabhiji.
________________________________________________________________________
A boy told his very traditional parents I wanted a tattoo.
.
Got one the very next minute.
A red coloured, chappal shaped tattoo, which lasted a wholeweek !!
________________________________________________________________________
Kya aap phone ki batery jaldi khatma hone se paresan hain, to khush ho jaiye.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Baba Ramdev aap ke liye lekar aane wale hai, Patanjali Smartphone bass aankh maar maar ke charge
karte rahiye.
_________________________________________________________________________
CA ki patni ne puchha: Mahngai dar kya hoti hai?
CA: pahle tumhari kamar 28 thi aur vajan 45 kilo,ab tumhari kamar hai 38 aur
vajan hai 75 kilo. ab tumhare pass sab kuchh pahle se jyada hai fir v value
kam hai.yahi mahngai dar hai.
moral: Airthshastra utna kathin nahi hai yadi sahi udaharan dekar samjhaya jay.
_________________________________________________________________________
What is secret of succes?
“by Right Decisions”
How do you make right decisions?
“by Experience”
How do you get experience?
“by Wrong Decision”
_________________________________________________________________________
Boy to pretty girl - Recharge ki dukan kaha hai ?
Girl: pata nahi yaar me to ladko se karwa leti hu
__________________________________________________________________________
Santa: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 40
Santa: 10 lelo
Riksha: 10 main kon le k jaayeega?
Santa: tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega
_________________________________________________________________________
Mallaya chahe London me bse ya Jhumri Tilaiya me mughe koi matlab nahi
bas wo appna mast mast Kingfisher wala Calendar nikalna band naa kare
_________________________________________________________________________
2 boys with Pappu where going on a Motor cycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop.
Pappu shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega…!
__________________________________________________________________________
Santa: Oye tu har sms Do dafa q karta H?
Banta : Taaki tu 1 Forward kar de to doosra tere pas rahay yaar!
__________________________________________________________________________
School mein Master ji ne chote santa se poocha:
Jisme koyi kami nahi usko kya kehte hai.?
aur jawab aayi:
.
.
.
.
Kami- na
__________________________________________________________________________
Mummy: Kyon Rota hai mera Sona?
Kids: Dad Ne Mujhe Kiss Nahi Di.
Mummy: Tumne Tables Nahi Sunaye Hon Gey.
.
.
Kids: Kaamwali Ko Kon Se Tables Aatey Hain?
__________________________________________________________________________
Santa went to Battery Shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga doon Sir?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya be....
__________________________________________________________________________
Ek Raat,
ek Chor,
ek Santa k Ghar me Ghus gaya aur bola: SONA kaha hai?
Santa: Ullu k patthe,
pura Ghar khaali hai kahi bhi jaake SOJA
__________________________________________________________________________
Santa Dukhi Tha
Kisi Ne Pucha: Kyu Tension Me Ho?
Santa: Yaar Ek Dost Ko plastic Surgery K Liye 2 Lakh Diye,
Ab Saale Ko Pehchan Nahi pa raha hu
_________________________________________________________________________
1 Over me Kitne Balls Peke Jate hai
Kya apne kaha 6?
Galat jawab
1 over me 1 hi ball 6 bar feka jata he
Bade aye!
Cricket k shokeeeen!
_______________________________________________________________________
Bittu: I sent Love letters to my Girl Friend everyday for 2 years !
Chotu : Then what happenned ?
Bittu : She Married the ‘Postman’
_______________________________________________________________________
Jab Hollywood me film ka seeqwal banta hai to naam kuchh aise hote hai:
1. Rambo
2. Rambo 2
3. Rambo 3
.
Bollywood Movies:
1. Singh is king
2. Singh is Bling
.
SOuth indian Movies:
1. Jine nahi dunga
2. Agle janam bhi jine nahi dunga
3. Paida hi nahi hone dunga..........
Doctor- Operation chal raha hai
CA: Audit chal Raha hai
MBA: Marketing chal rahi hai
Smart Santa: Fogg chal raha hai
_____________________________________________________________________
Pappu was working 1st time in a garment shop.
A customer girl asked:
Underwear dikhana plz.
Papu thora sharmakar:
G aaj nahi pehni.
____________________________________________________________________
Extreme height of laziness:
Thief 1: Let's count the money that we have robbed today at the bank.
Thief 2: dude I'm so tired.we'll see in the news.
_____________________________________________________________________
God: what do u want?
Boy: A very Beautiful girl.
God: If u r Muslim I'll give u Katrina,
If ur a Hindu I'll give u Kareena,
If ur a christian I'll give u Genelia,
What's ur Name?
Boy: Abdul Narayan Fernandes.
God: Rakhi sawant de Kamine ko bahut Over Smart ban raha hai.
_________________________________________________________________________
Santa asks Banta: Tujay larki phasani aati hai?
Banta: Nahi..!
Santa: Nahi aati to seekh le..
Pehle ek kaagaz ka jahaaz bana..
Phir usay class mein ura..
Mam k puchne par.. larki ka naam lagade..
BAS PHAS GAI LARKI .
________________________________________________________________________
Jaan Leva Ishq-
College me mera haath pakar kar boli ki saat janam tak tumhara saath naa chhorugi sathiya
College Gate se apne Baap aur Bahi ko aate dekh kar boli kamine kisko pooch kar pakra mera haath
______________________________________________________________________________
Boy: I love you baby
Girl: I Have already a boyfriend
He: Olx pe bech de
Purana jayega, tabhi to naya aayega
______________________________________________________________________________
Husband - mere paas proof hai tumhara chakkar parosan ke sath hai
Husband- kaya proof hai batoo??
Wife- Uska husband Kal raat tumhara underwear pahankar aya tha
______________________________________________________________________________
Jailor To Tailor:
1000 Pants Aur 999 Shirts Silvake Bhej Dena.
Tailor:
Jailorsahab Ye Ek Shirt Kam Kyu..?
Jailor;
Shalmann Khann Aa Raha Hain Na!!!
______________________________________________________________________________
Kitna lucky hoga wo boyfriend
Jo Apni girlfriend Se Yeh Sunta Hoga....
Jaanu Tum Phone Cut Karo Na,
Main tumko call back karti hun..
______________________________________________________________________________
GF 2 BF bahot attitude hai tum me
BF - Attitude to bachpan se Hai
Jab me peda huwa tha
to ded saal mene kisi se baat nahi ki the
______________________________________________________________________________
Mummy-beta paper kesa tha?
Beta-Patla saa tha, white colour ka
...
Mummy gusse me-de thappar de thappar par thappar
kamine tune kuch nahi lika hoga exam me nalayak
______________________________________________________________________________
Jitni Jildi ladko ko love ho jata hai
utni jaldi ladki ye bhi decide nahi kaar pati hai
.
.
Dark lipstick lagani hai ya light
______________________________________________________________________________
Log pata Nhi Kaise propose kar dete Hain
Mujhe To Pani-Puri Khane K Bad,
Papdi Mangne Me Bhi Sharam Aa Jati Hai
______________________________________________________________________________
Aajkal Ke ladko Ko Kya Pata Struggle Kya Hai ??
Hum Ne Wo Time Bhi Dekha Hai Jab.
Mobile Me "S" Type Karne K Liye..
"7" K Button Ko 4 Baar Dabana Padta Thaa
______________________________________________________________________________
BF 2 GF- girl Love Marriage Q Karti Ho?
Gf: Anjaan Namoona Milne Se To Achaa Hai,
Jaana Pehchana Kamina Mil Jaye.
______________________________________________________________________________
Tinku: 1 Manf0rce Dena.
Dukandaar: Tum To Masterjee K Bete Ho na?
Tinku: Mentos Bola Mentossssssss,
1-2 Vicks vi De Dena Gala Kharab H
Medicine ka naam bhi nahi nikal raha thik se.
______________________________________________________________________________
Yoga Madam:- Dear students!!
Batao Mai Ek Paav Par Kab Aur.
Kyo Khadi Rehti Hu ??
Student:- Nahane Ke Baad Chaddi Pahane Ke Time...
______________________________________________________________________________
Rahul Gandhi Kehte Hai,
"Congress Koi Party Nahi, Ek Soch Hai"
Aur
Vidya Balan Kehti Hai,
"Jahan Soch Hai, Wahan Shouchalay Hai"
Bahut Confusion Hai Bhai Sahab!!
______________________________________________________________________________
Girlfriend bnane ke baad he
adhiktar logo ka pata chalta hai ki
100 rupye se uper ki vi chocolate aati hai
______________________________________________________________________________
Husband driving Car At Very High Speed:
Dekhi Meri Speed darling??
&
Achanak Car Band Ho Gai..
Biwi Hasne Lagi
Husbnd: Kya Huaa??
Biwi: Kuchh Nahi, Kal Rat Ki Yad Aagai..
______________________________________________________________________________
2 Larkiyon Ko 5 Saal Ki Saza Mili.
Dono 1 Hi Room Mai 5 Saal Guzarnay Ke Bad
Jab Ghar Janay Lagii To...
.
.
.
.
.
1 Larki Boli.
Chal Thikk Hai Baakii Baten Mobile Per Kartey Hain.
______________________________________________________________________________
Kid 2 Mom: 20 Rs Dena,
Bahar 1 Garib Ko Dene Hen.
Mom: Kaha Hai Garib?
Kid:Bechra Bahar Dhup Me,
Icecream Bech Raha Hai mummy..
______________________________________________________________________________
Ek angrej hindi sikhne ke liye india aaya
30 din yahi raha,
finally usne 2 baate sikhi:"
1. Bijli aa gayi.
2. phir chali gayi...
______________________________________________________________________________
Explaining Friends -
Difference Between Shitt & Ohh Shitt.
A Boy Threw A Love Letter To A Girl,
And Fell Near Her Brother !
Shittt !
And His Brother Was A Gay Oh Shitt.
______________________________________________________________________________
Mobile ke night plans ne to hume,
Bhuka maar diya hai dosto,
Jis ghar mein chori k liye jao,
Koi na koi aashiq jag raha hota hai..
______________________________________________________________________________
Husband : Yaar, Main Koi Bhi Kaam Karta Hu,
To Meri Biwi bich me Aa Jati Hai
Friend : Yaar,
Tu Truck Chalaa Kar Dekh,
Shaayad Qismat Saath De De...!
"Try Your Best Luck"
______________________________________________________________________________
Just 4 my cute friends only
Why Do Popcorn Jump When It Is In The Stove?
Why?
Why?
Very curiors na........
You Sit On The Stove And Then See Why It Will Jump
______________________________________________________________________________
1 ladke Ne Red Fm Radio Pe Phone Kiya
Ladka : Mujhe Ek bag Mila Hai,
Jisme 20000 Cash.
Samsung Galaxy S6
1 Credit Card Aur
Richa gupta Ke Naam Ka Id Mila Hai.
RJ: Wah... Aap Kitne Honest Hain.
Kya Aap Unhe Wo Purse Waapis Karna Chahenge.???
ladka : Nahi!!Nahi!!
Main Chahta Hu Ki Richa Gupta Ke Liye,
Ek Dard Bhara Song Ho Jaaye...
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